may nakalimutan pala ako… chowking lauriat. YUN! ngayon ko lang bigla naalala kung gaano ako natakam dun noon! chowing lauriat with halo-halo (ube ice cream please!) tapos dunkin donuts for dessert. woooooowwww… sarap nun…
…patay. pinost ko pa mga itsura ng gusto kong kainin ngayon. patay talaga… malala na ito. hindi na ito normal.
woke up at exactly 6:34am. first thought of the day? dunkin donuts. within a minute of my awakening, i decided to call my sister at work since i knew she was nearing the end of her shift.
"hiiii ate, where are youuuuu?" <—hehe, onting lambing ng boses pa! strategy, my dears… strategy. *wink*
"at work. just finishing up then i’ll be going home. why?"
"buy me donuuuuuuuuuts? pleeeeaasssse?"
" *silence* you called me at 6 am to tell me you want donuts?!"
"hehe… yup,yup…"
" *sighs* what do you want?" "(semi-hyper mode bigla) chocobutternut! two please! pay you when you get home…"
after i put the phone down, i realized i had blurted out the wrong flavor - i was actually aiming for some choco honey-dipped ones. =S oh well. hehe, rather than call my sister back up to correct my order, i called my brother (who was due back home any minute) instead. why my brother, you ask? *ahem* i wanted to be sure i get my donuts, one way or the other. nyahahahaha!!!chocobutternut from my sister, chocohoneydipped from my brother! panalong plano…
out of coverage area nga lang yung kuya ko nung tumawag ako sa kanya. drat! ayan tuloy, tinext ko na lang siya habang jinu-jumpstart ko yung ps2 namin. when suikoden finally started playing properly, my ate came home with her boyfriend (pat) in tow. no donuts. sarado pa daw. =( oh well. hehe, at least pat promised to get me donuts later within the day. YEHEYYY FOR PAT! YAHOOO!!!
sumaya ulit ako. nag-champorado na lang muna ulit.
when my sister dropped by my brother’s room (which is where we keep the ps2), i mentioned i ordered donuts from him as well.
"tell him to get me some of the sugary ones din…"
hahahaha! it’s catching! my dunkin donut craze is spreading! nyahahaha!!! i should get paid for this… anyway, just a little before lunchtime, my brother returned home with… MY DONUTS! WHEEEEE!!!XD 2 choco-honeydipped donuts from dunkin donuts! SARAP! ubos agad within 3 minutes of first opening the bag - another satisfied customer! *grin*
so anyway, noon turned to afternoon, turned to night. when i next saw pat, he said he’d have my sister bring home my donuts for me. WHEEE!!! more donuts! astig! midnight snack for sure! it’s now 8:29pm as i write this. kaka-dinner ko pa lang, but here i am yet again, craving for my donuts. yeesh. malala na ata ito. gluttony na ata…
oh, and for the record, i only stopped playing suikoden a few minutes ago. imagine that. from 6:30am till 8:30pm. 14 hours straight. wooooowwww…0,o
here’s a song that’s been playing over and over in mind. rai was the one who first mentioned this to me. i downloaded the file, and i liked it immediately. i don’t know why. maybe it was because of the lyrics. maybe, as usual, it might’ve been the vocals. maybe… i don’t know. i won’t try to pry my mind open just to answer one little insignificant question. just read on and get a copy if you want to…
Broken this fragile thing now // And I can’t, I can’t pick up the pieces // And I’ve thrown my words all around // But I can’t, I can’t give you a reason // I feel so broken up (so broken up) // And I give up (I give up) // I just want to tell you so you know // Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you // You are my only one // I let go, there’s just no one that gets me like you do // You are my only, my only one // Made my mistakes, let you down // And I can’t, I can’t hold on for too long // Ran my whole life in the ground // And I can’t, I can’t get up when you’re gone // And something’s breaking up (breaking up) // I feel like giving up (like giving up) // I won’t walk out until you know // Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you //You are my only one // I let go, there’s just no one who gets me like you do // You are my only, my only one // Here I go so dishonestly // Leave a note for you my only one // And I know you can see right through me // So let me go and you will find someone // Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you // You are my only one // I let go, there’s just no one, no one like you // You are my only, my only one // My only one // My only one // My only one // You are my only, my only one ————-> ONLY ONE by Yellowcard
not bad, not bad… maganda-ganda ang araw ko ngayon:
~ woke up to the smell of champorado… astig. donut na lang kulang.
~ started playing Gensosuikoden V because i didn’t feel up to playing Kingdom Hearts 2 (asar pa rin ako dahil napamahal na si Roxas - that’s pronounced "ROX-as" - sa akin, tapos hindi naman pala siya yung main character ko! hmph!) or Spiderman (nilampaso talaga kasi ako ng mga thugs dati eh..). i played till lunchtime where…
~ kuya bought a bucket of KFC! wheeee!!! busog! hahaha, we even had tita menchit come over for lunch.
~ kuya and i convinced tita menchit to borrow our "Saw" dvd. hahaha, she hates horror movies though, so she should be in for a treat. "tita, trust us, it’s not a horror movie. suspense, yes. maybe even a little comedy." mga salbaheng bata! nyahahahahaha!!! hep, hep, hep! tekaaaa… comedy? oo naman! bakit? natawa naman ako nung kinuha nung girl yung susi sa loob ng kaibigan niya ah… diba comedy na yun? *snicker*
~ so, to the highlight of my day… after lunch, i was brushing my teeth in my mom’s bathroom without having the door locked since i wasn’t really doing anything that needed privacy. i heard my mom come into the room and i heard her put her hand on the doorknob. ssshhh… kausap niya si ate. okay, now picture this: the door opens slowly to reveal my mom still talking to my ate, so she’s looking the other way. i, on the other hand, was standing there with my toothbrush still in my mouth full of toothpaste and toothpaste uhh.. froth. so what do i do…? i screamed. nyahahahaha!!! she screamed as well! and if i saw it right, i think she even hopped an inch off the floor when she screamed in response. god, i can’t stop laughing even as i write this! of course, after her initial reaction (and while i was concentrating on trying to spit out the toothpaste before i choke on it), she slapped me on the arm together while she berated me. haha, i didn’t care. i was still laughing. ayun tuloy. in-off ang ilaw tapos sinarado pa ang pinto habang palabas. ang dilim tuloy… haha, pero buti na lang tawang-tawa pa rin ako kaya i didn’t really mind the darkness this time. a friend warned me to watch out though. lagot daw ako sa magiging anak ko dahil babalik daw lahat ng ginawa kong kakulitan sa mom ko. my response? bring it on! (<– not verbatim though)
~ i took a nap then woke up to find a text from my xbox supervisor waiting for me. pasok daw ako ng monday for contract signing. sweet. at least i’m saved of having to sit through tests and interviews again. hehe… tamad. besides, i’d much rather return to xbox anyway. i mean, it’s playing while working! =) saan ka nga ba naman kasi makakahanap ng center na may "Shorts Day" diba? 
(xbox models: cy in red and kuya in blue)
~ so what comes next? a day like this can only be called perfect if it ends nicely. so… i guess i’ll just play suikoden again. ayus na yun. suikoden now. kfc dinner a little later, followed by another round of champorado perhaps. that sounds like a good enough ending. yep. yun na lang.
so many things on my mind right now…
~ should i just give up on xbox and just join some other call center while i continue the search for my life’s true calling?
~ i generally don’t like children… but why is it that i usually find myself the one in charge of them when the adults are busy chitchatting??
~ with another friend’s upcoming departure for california, i find myself thinking… when will the time come for me to say goodbye to the people in the philippines in hopes of finding my ‘personal legend" abroad?
~ bakit napaka-seryoso ko na naman? why can’t i just smile, smile, smile instead??
~ how do i finish all the combat missions in Queens in the spiderman game? those nasty thugs are loaded with knives, swords, guns, and flame throwers AND they travel in groups too! and i’m only one person for godsakes! one brave, little spider swinging from tree to tree — oh no, wait. that’s george of the jungle. the one that swings from tree to tree, i mean. he’s not a spider, just a man… who was… left… ah nevermind. you get it anyway, i’m sure. 
~ bakit ang haba ng intro ng kingdom hearts 2?! asar… after 3 hours of playing the game, that’s when i learned that the character i was playing isn’t the character i’ll be stuck with for the rest of the game! ay, wala… si kuya na bahala sa game ko. balik spiderman na lang ako… or burn-out. hmm.. haven’t played that in a long time…
~ bakit ang sarap-sarap mag-soundtrip? kahit mag-isa ka lang basta panalo mga sounds mo, ayus na… bakit?
~ bakit tumigil ang ulan? at bakit halos sa gabi na lang umuulan? ang saya-saya tuloy. sarap mag-drama sana kaso wala naman akong kelangang ipagdrama… well… i mean apart from the usual shit, of course. but of course i’m sick of worrying about all that i’ve been worrying about up until this point so why bother worrying about being worried about something you always worry about when you know that all that worrying’s going to bring you are more worries? so many worries, so little time…
~ bakit hindi pa inaalis si zayra sa rockstar supernova? the world can see she’s hot (as hell, as some put it…) but come on! whoever wins will be supernova’s vocalist! supernova? hello?? tommy lee, gilby clarke, and jason newsted? do you really see those three behind the likes of her? she seems nice and all, but face it… she’s not cut out for the job.
~ why can’t i just wake up and find my hair has grown back to its original length and color? the wait is killing me!
~ bakit hindi pa rin ako nagsasawa sa kakahanap ng champorado at dunkin donuts? yang donuts na yan ilang araw na yan haaa… nakakain na nga ako nun kasama ni kuya big brother ("baboy" daw ako… haha, soooooo true kuya. so true.) nung isang araw pero hanggang ngayon, hinahanap-hanap ko pa rin. and no, it can’t be just any kind of donut. uh-uh. it has to be dunkin. i won’t settle for anything more nor less. dunkin. chocobutternut, choco-wacko, and choco-honey dipped. period.
~ bakit ang dami kong tanong, eh wala namang kwenta mga tanong ko?
~ …ano kayang kakainin ko ngayong dinner? …may champorado na kaya ulit? hmmm… sana.
curiously enough, my mood’s quite equivalent to when i experienced that hellish monday. i can’t figure it out though… gusto ko na lang sumigaw…
WALA NAMANG NANGYARING MASAMA SAYO NGAYON AH! BAKIT KA NAGAGALIT SA MUNDO?!! GUMAGAWA KA NA NAMAN NG SARILI MONG DRAMA EH! TUMIGIL KA NA NGA SA KAKAANDAR! TIGIL! TIGIIIIIIIILLLL!!!
…gusto kong ma-brain dead pero syempre hindi naman pwede yun. so i’ll do the next best thing - tutulog na lang ako. nawalan ng saysay at pakinabang ang araw na ito simula nung natapos ang umaga. tama. tutulog na lang ako. sleep and hope to whoever makes wishes come true that the day’ll seem bright once again by the time i wake up tomorrow. hn. as if.
I’m feeling so bad And Lord it feels so good Just wallowin’ low Down the dark alleys of my neighbourhood Don’t tell me to perk Don’t tell me to sparkI’m loving every minute of this dark heart Ooh baby I got them black heart blues
You say I’ll emerge My demons all purged You say I can change All I need is the urge You want me to smile I’ve got bile in my throat Right now I’m hell and I’m takin’ off my coat Ooh baby I got them black heart blues
it’s "Blackheart Blues" by Melissa Forbes. it actually ends nicely enough but i just can’t bring myself to include the end just yet. doesn’t suit me. moody ako ngayon eh. asar sa buhay dahil wala akong magawa pero marami akong gustong gawin PERO wala naman akong pera para gawin ang mga gusto ko. kaya eto. sa bahay lang ulit. pine-perfect ko na lang rating ko sa hitman. paulit-ulit lang.
paulit ulit ulit ulit ulit ulit ulit ulit ulit…
show me a person who is truly content. a person who wants absolutely nothing more for himself and for others. hirap noh? we all want something. but that’s supposed to be a good thing, right? wanting something? it should inspire you to move in the direction that would allow you to achieve whatever it is your heart desires. but.. what if what you want is something you know you can NEVER, EVER, EVER have? that’s when the wanting hurts. that’s when it hurts the most. why? because you know that no matter how hard you try - no matter how perfect you may have made youself seem - you will never have that which you want the most. naranasan niyo na ba yun? when you find yourself afraid (yes, afraid) to even think about that certain something because whenever you do, you sink into a fit of depression? you reach a point where you feel as if a thousand little figures with tiny pitchforks launch a do or die attack on your heart? sasabog na ang utak mo sa hilo? ang kulit noh? wala… i’m ranting. i loooooove to torture myself with questions i know i’ll never learn the answers to. i’m just a masochistic, problematic, neurotic slip of a girl trying to play a woman’s role in the stage play we call "aNaCriSm’s Life". showing for one lifetime only! get your seats reserved at a bargain! discounted price for groups! baliw lang talaga ako. wag niyo na lang ako pansinin. hahahahaha…*sulks*
the problem with me is that, when it comes to my life, i only understand one side of the coin. the other side’s plain gibberish.
bitin! i got to watch pirates of the caribbean earlier with kuya and bitin pare! i miss jack sparrow already. oh wait. correction. CAPTAIN jack sparrow pala… hehehe. astig. i’m in love again! XD
by the way, note to self: hit cyril next time you see him for giving out movie spoilers. =p
hehehe, i took this test from this site and here are the results of my test. hahaha, i can still save myself if i really wanted to.. but the thing is, do i really want to give up everything i’ve become?
there were a lot of other tests i took, though i lost interest in posting the results on this entry. maybe some other time… or maybe not.
after spending several hours on the net, i’ve finally decided to call it a night. i’ll just wait for midnight to come as i lay in bed. anyway, before i go, i just want to share this with whoever cares to read my blog. it’s a song by Anna Nalick titled "In My Head". twish, you’re right. it’s a great song. i can see why you’d sing it for the person you dedicated it to.
"In My Head"
Under the weight of your wings you are a god and whatever I want you to be
And I wonder if truly you are nearly as beautiful as I believe
In my head your voice
You’ve got all that I need and this make believe will get me through another lonely night
Under the weight of your wings
Should ever we meet on your side of your stereo
I will pretend I know not of your thoughts
And even the way that they mirror my own
I’ll take you away in the way that you take me and go where I go
In my head your voice
You’ve got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through another lonely night
Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I’m echoing all your philosophies
And as I fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I’m echoing all your philosophies
And as I…Oh…
I don’t wanna be fool-hearted
Baby, I’m out numbered in my head
I don’t, I don’t wanna be fool-hearted
Baby, I’m out numbered in my head
My head…
In my head your voice
You’ve got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through another night
Yeah, your voice
You’ve got all that I need
And this make believe will get me through another lonely night
Lonely night…
Under the weight of your wings I make believe you are all that I’ll ever need
All that I need…
**AND I LEARNED A NEW WORD TODAY!**
i happened to come across this word while browsing through the net. in my current state-of-mind however, i have no idea where i got this (i have so many windows opened and i’ve been clicking the left mouse button a number of times!) so unfortunately, i can’t give credit to whoever posted this first… sorry. tamad na rin ako eh.
IGNORANUS - a person who is both stupid and an asshole.
hahahahaha!!! that brightened my uhh.. night for a couple of seconds past 20 at least. i’m still smiling at the thought though… hehehe… babaw.
P.S. in a few minutes, it will be the 12th of july sooo…
HaPpY BiRtHDay DeAr OnNie!!! ^____^
the sky had darkened considerably by the time i took my last jeepney ride before reaching home. a short 5 minutes later, i stepped down from the jeep and to my dismay, the heavy rains started pouring down. luckily though, i was dropped off at a point close to the dominican college’s waiting shed. after i wrapped all my electronic gadgets in the bubblewrap i happened to have, i spent a good minute trying to decide if i should just brave the rain or if i should have the maid meet me with an umbrella for me to use. after the minute had passed, i shrugged my backpack back on and walked out into the rain. i did not run. i did not jog. i didn’t even walk fast. i simply walked. while un-umbrellad people rushed past me, i just strolled along down the slope (a lot of ups and downs where i live) with a smile. i was drenched, my shoes were making a solid squishy noise, my backpack was getting heavier by the minute, but i didn’t care. it had been so long since i last took a walk under the rain. besides, since i was walking DOWN a sloping road, i didn’t want to rush myself. i could’ve slipped and went flying onto an oncoming car, then my family’d hear news of my being rushed to the clinic nearby and we’d have another tragedy on our hands. nah, i didn’t want to risk it so i took my time… and i enjoyed every minute of it. hehe, i even paused for a while just in front of the gate even if the keys were already in my hand. i could’ve stayed frozen like that for a long time but i realized i had responsibilities to think of - the bubblewrap wouldn’t have kept the gadgets (both borrowed and owned) safe from the rain forever. with a sigh, i stepped out of my momentary episode of insanity and emerged through the gate that led back home and to reality.
it was a good 10 minutes nonetheless.
*the after effect of deviating from the social norm that dictates that one should seek shelter from the rain…
my eyes feel heavy though i know i’m not that tired yet. the back of my knees are starting to ache as well though i know i didn’t walk around too much. this must be the beginning of a slight fever… ah, crap. looks like i won’t be going anywhere tonight… =(
