~L0st iN My 0wN miNd~

i Lack the drive to be what i reaLLy want to be. heLL, i guess it’s because even i have no idea what i really want to be. i don’t know what i want to do with my life, i dont know what profession i really want to focus on, i don’t know what i’m doing with my life - it’s a miracle i’ve stayed alive for as long as i have.

it’s crappy (yet admirable, as a friend just recently said… i just wish i could feel the same way) that i’ve given up hopes of seeing my dreams fulfilled anytime soon. i had initially planned to get a job that would, more or less, allow me to explore my creativity once again (see if the burned out feeling i acquired during my college days was still evident), but as things go, i was forced to do something i never wanted to do again: i’ve psyched myself up on crawling back to the call center industry. shit.

i swallowed my pride and accepted that what i said before ("man, i am never working in a call center again!") will not be happening anytime soon. like i’ve told people, i’ve realized that i needed the money more than i needed peace of mind, my pride, and my dreams.

pathetic. but i don’t think i have any other choice. maybe i should just backpack around. sell everything i have, walk out the door, never look back, and just LIVE.

pffffffffffft! yeah right. as if i have the luxury to do that. shit.

ARRRRRGGGHHH!!! bahala na nga! tagay na lang! tagay sabi!!!

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 17th, 2006 at 5:36 am and is filed under in too deep to swim back out.... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.