~L0st iN My 0wN miNd~

my consciousness has been infiltrated by the memory of a needLe… shyet.

Last friday, i had my pre-employment med exam which included the taking of a vial of blood. now for those of you who really know me, you should know that i have never been stuck with a medical needle for as long as i can remember (vaccines be damned! Let mother nature and white bLood ceLLs do all the work!). i let my new friend peter go first with the blood test while i sat outside the nurse’s station trying to calm myself.

cold sweat.. shivers.. a whole army of butterflies in the stomach..

when the nurse called me into her office, i saw peter holding his arm close to his body as he stood for me to take his place. by the time i sat down, i was shaking and gagging at the thought of a needle drawing blood (good god! even just remembering the fear is making me gag as i write this…@_@). the nurse tied the piece rubber above my elbow and instructed me to sit still but i just couldn’t do it. i was shaking from head to toe. seryoso… no exaggerations. in an attempt to distract myself, i looked away from my left arm and saw peter outside watching me ("this i’ve got to see…") when suddenly i felt something cold on my left arm. i nearly jumped out of the seat only to realize the nurse just dabbed a bit of alcohol on the spot she’d be targeting. nyaaiii… the nurse removed the rubber and warned me to sit still again. haha, i felt like she was my mom telling me (at 5 years old) to sit still or she wouldn’t give me a cookie! peter meanwhile had gone and called jill (aka "LiLLiput", haha!) as back-up. sabi niya kasi nakita niyang muntikan ko nang sipain yung nurse in an effort to get away from the needle ("malala ito… di ko kakayanin. kelangan ko ng back-up…"). jill stood in front of me and held me down while the nurse tied the rubber again. after that nightmare (with me feeling very lightheaded afterwards), it was time for my physical with the resident doc. as we were ending the session, she started reaching for some rubber gloves and told me that she’d now be doing a rectal check. ookkkkaaaayyyy… i asked how that would go.
"well, i’ll be sticking a finger in to check for any bleeding, hemorrhoids, etc…" (sabay suot ng gloves complete with the smacking sound rubber makes when you release it after stretching it tight)
haha, i refused on the premise that i didn’t really know her and i wasn’t comfortable with anyone other than our family doctor doing such a personal task.

and then i hit the ground with a thud.

friday night. i was putting away some stuff in a cabinet that required me to tiptoe in order to reach it. i got dizzy, the world went black and before i knew it, i was falling to the floor. i vaguely remember dropping to my knees and falling backwards with my head bouncing twice on the parquet floor. my first thought when i regained my senses?

"god, this is *not* good…"

i struggled to get up but finding i could only make small movements, i turned over and started crawling towards the door. after a few seconds though, i was okay again, but i could feel the makings of another collapse coming on in a few minutes. i hurriedly closed the lights of the 3rd floor bedroom and made my way downstairs to the 2nd floor to where i would be sleeping (being extra careful to hang on to the handrail). when i got to the 2nd floor, as i was concentrating on *falling* on to my own bed, i accidentally fell backwards (again!) and landed on my brother who grunted as he woke up while i apologized and dove for my own bed. when i was settled, i kept my eyes closed (though i still could see colors swirling around) and was fast asleep after only a few seconds.

scary.

monday’s disaster…

i visited my xbox pals after training. hung out with the tropa at the parking lot then headed off to el pueblo’s sidebar with gomer and borge. masaya naman yung gabi, pero syempre hindi maiiwasang magkaroon ng sablay sa gabi. haaaayyy…
anyway, i told a friend i’d stop beating myself up over past mistakes, so i’ll say nothing further about this event.

a needle again?!! GOD, WHEN WILL IT EVER STOPPPPP???!!!

i knew we’d be given flu shots at the office within the week, but i never knew it was a mandatory thing! i thought we’d just be given the option to have a flu shot free of charge if we wanted to… but just today i learned that agents wouldn’t be able to report to work unless they take the shot. now, i don’t know if that last part is true but i do know i don’t want to be vaccinated. AYOKO! NO, NO, NO, NO!!! i’m starting to dislike this company i’m working for simply because i’ve only been with them for 8 days and already they’re requiring me to take another needle for their sake… that’s TWO NEEDLES TO THE ARM IN 7 DAYS! AYOKO, AYOKO, AYOKOOOOO!!! resign na lang kaya ulit ako? (<—stupid idea…)

out of the frying pan and into the flames… (uhh… does that sound right?)

we’ve nearly finished training. by tomorrow, we’re expected to call a minimum of 5 customers with the trainer by our side and the rest of the batch listening to the call. good god! talk about rushing things!@_@ by monday, we’re expected to hit the floor already. shyeeeeeetttt.. i am sooooooo not ready. good luck na lang sa akin bukas… siguradong marami akong makakalimutan nito.

the main switch…

sunday. only my mother and i were at home. i was playing Hitman: Blood Money on the pc and she was upstairs sewing god-knows-what when all of a sudden, i hear a loud popping sound coming from upstairs just as the power to the whole house shut down. (RRT! RRT!!!) my mom came down to have me fiddle with the umm… electrical switches? (what do you call them? those semi-hidden cabinets that contain switches that control the power/electricity that goes to the sockets of the house?)… since she said her sewing machine was the one that caused the power outage. anyway, she had me read the notes my dad left behind regarding which switches control which floors. haha, nakakaaliw. nagmistulang electrician ako sa araw na yun! it was fun except for the fear of having sparks fly at me as i switched everything back on… anyway, we were successful after a  few tries (even went to the guardhouse to flick the main switch off then back on again). at least i know what to do the next time that happens… hehe, aliw… ^___^

*end of updates*… for now.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 28th, 2006 at 6:19 am and is filed under thoughts, thoughts, and more thoughts.... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.