~L0st iN My 0wN miNd~

i understood this before. i just don’t know why i lost sight of this lesson only to have to relearn this all over again the hard way.

there are merits to being a pessimist. learn to expect everything to fall apart every single time.

asar. i learned that lesson a long time ago… i guess it’s just that i’ve gotten so used to everything going according to plan that i forgot that one should never expect things because they’ll disappointment usually follows close. my college sisters learned that lesson with me, and it was a lesson i took to heart. but now… now… when something suddenly falls apart, i find myself lost. i don’t find myself nonchalantly brushing off the inconsistencies actual events have when faced with my "master plan". i used to do that effectively - simply nod acceptance at the new changes then just move on and make the best of it.

it’s scary how shaky friendships could be… but i’m learning again. believe me, i am. i haven’t been idle during my "vacation". i’m back in school…

i’m learning to expect the worst.

tangina, tama na nga ang drama. nakaka-drain lang. besides, nip/tuck na rin lang naman eh… manonood na lang ako ng tv. it’ll be a good start to brushing away life’s unpleasant surprises…

it’s different this time around… the first time i’ve celebrated an aging without him… ang sad.

buti na lang andyan kayong lahat… ma, kuya, ate, pat, mylene, twish, rai… buti na lang talaga…

salamat.

and so the summer of 2006 finally comes to a close with the coming of the june rains. hehehe, but who said that should stop us, right?

this was, without a doubt, the year that i became a beach bum. it’s only been five months since the year started and i’ve already been to the beach 3 times (that’s 3 times too many if you look at the past few years!) and i’ve got a final trip (or maybe two trips? i’m still thinking about it…) coming up soon. it’s been a blast…

first was the tropa trip to puerto galera… this was the first time i’ve been to the beach at night, and i must say, i haven’t been the same since then. the city stars pale in comparison to what one can see during a night out underneath the stars.

next up was another trip to puerto galera, this time with rai. kahit na overnight lang kami dun, ang saya pa rin talaga… picture-taking galore plus taho on the beach front… man, rai… that was the best.

latest trip taken was the one to zambales. i thought i couldn’t go.. and that i *shouldn’t* go either but turns out i went after all. (duh.) i slept most of the days away pero ayus pa rin ang trip. the trips going to and coming from zambales were something worth remembering (most fun roadtrips i’ve had since as far as i can remember!)… miss ko na tuloy lalo ang mga xboxers…

next up is another possible puerto trip with the tropa… i’m leaning towards going (again… last time i checked i was leaning towards *not* going… di bale, i still have at least a week left to decide anyway…). the idea of spending a night at puerto (plus the additional pull of the solo trip of coming back home alone) with the same people that inspired my love for beaches appeals to me… strongly appeals to me. let’s not forget the food of course! sheesh… i’m craving for another breakfast by the shore…0_o the best eh! argh!!! i hate arguing with myself… *siiiiggghhhh* oh well, there’s nothing lef to do but weigh the pros and cons of going… basta whatever happens, i’m taking the trip to bohol next.

excited na ako. =D

updates, updates!!!

1. my brief (but longer than expected) stint as a call center employee finally ended last may 1. i am now officially unemployed and considered a permanent fixture on the sala couch… won’t start looking for work till june… or maybe july. bahala na.

2. i… had… a major… haircut. for those of you who know me, you’ll understand why this is such a big event… i can’t say i’m already comfortable with the way it looks and feels now… but i’ll get used to it.

3. hehehe, kahit out na ako sa xbox, bisita pa rin ako ng bisita… =D i was happy to leave the company (amber), but not happy about leaving the company (people)… ang saya-saya pa rin ng mga tao dun… nakakaaliw. =D

yun lang muna… sakit na ng mata ko eh.