thoughts and emotions are nothing but pieces of crap…
ain’t it nice to find a song that can have you in tears in a few seconds because of no particular reason at all? ang sarap ng feeling. sobra. lalo na pag ang daming mong iniisip? no matter how small or seemingly insignificant your thoughts may seem, remember: things add up. they always do. and a time comes when you need an outlet.
some bitch about it. some wreck things. some hurt themselves. some hurt those closest to them. some go shopping. some pig out. me… i prefer to lock myself in the bathroom every once in a while and have a good cry. sit in there for anywhere from a few minutes to several hours (bahala na kung anong iniisip ng pamilya ko pag ilang oras na ako naka-lock sa banyo) just staring at whatever (i notice i find myself looking mostly outside the window {pucha, ang drama naman!}, at my hands, or at my reflection) and just letting everything fall. after that, i’m okay. i find i really am okay. hehe, emotions, i find myself thinking, are much like shitting. you get into the bathroom, wait till everything comes out, and you come out feeling all "clean" again. sheesh… what an analogy.
ever the same. in case you’ve been wondering, that’s the song that triggered this round with the most recent thoughts i’ve been trying to ignore. ever heard of it? it’s rob thomas’s latest (?) single and i knew from the first time i heard it that i just had to get a copy of the song. well, a few days back, i finally found a copy and there you go, first night i got home and had the track on my mp3, i was in love (haha, and i found myself locked in the bathroom after such a long time…)…
but then, like all other emotions, i’m once again finding that love is temporary. i’ve graduated (or at least i’m already somewhere close to that) from that song. easy come, easy go. i’m now on the hunt for another… and i can’t wait to find it. that song that makes me think of everything and nothing.
hmm… perhaps that’s why i’m always so hungry for new songs. the feelings evoked by a single song isn’t enough to keep me interested in it for a long time. hmm.. i just remembered one time i thought this would change though. i was still in college (feels like so long ago) and i had had a rough day. there i was, sitting in the dark, staring at nothing in particular when someone very talented and close to me came into the room i happened to be in. he briefly glanced in my direction and told me he’d play something for me to help me relax. when he started playing the piano, i had to lower my head because it turned out to be one of those songs…
i’ll be honest in saying that i don’t remember the melody of the composition he played, but what i felt back then, that i will remember forever. so to you, dear friend, if you still remember that day, forgive me if i never thanked you for what you did. i couldn’t find the words back then, but now i have. two simple words: thank you. plus two more: so much.
