~L0st iN My 0wN miNd~

i’m not making any sense anymore. i seem to be spacing out a lot lately. my attention span has been reduced greatly and somehow, i feel really down.

WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH ME?!

i’m sad, that’s what. i don’t get to do the things i used to love doing before… i rarely get to spend time with my family anymore… i miss my home… i miss my bed… my playstation… my movies… the friends i used to know are changing (though i can still see a shadow of the ‘them’ i used to know getting buried deeper under all the layers of experiences they’ve had without me)… i guess because of all of this, i’m slowly sinking into a fit of depression, and i don’t like it.

HAHAHA!!! i don’t like myself when i get depressed because when i get depressed, i become even more silent than usual (which i think ’scares’ my friends away for a bit). jokes that would’ve had me laughing for at least a full minute would only receive a ghost of a smile… friends i normally greet with a wave and a smile would only receive a nod of the head… i sleep less at night… i eat more than usual…

typical. ugh. and i get mad (for reasons unexplained) when i get too typical.

geez… so now i’m a bit depressed AND a bit angry as well. that sucks.

can someone throw me a lifesaver?!

"moments are to be experienced; waiting was a sin against both the time that was still to come and the moments one was currently disregarding." - the abbot, neverwhere

ahh… words from a wise one. i think i should try to follow this. i mean, after everything, this thing actually does make sense…

wise words indeed.

"all right, all right, all right," old bailey was saying. "stop me if you’ve heard this one before. there was a man walked into a bar. no, he wasn’t a man. that’s the joke. sorry. he was a horse. a horse… no… a piece of string. three pieces of string. right. three pieces of string walk into a bar."

a huge old rook croaked a question. old bailey rubbed his chin, then shrugged. "they just do. it’s a joke. they can walk in the joke. he asks for a drink for himself and one for each of his friends. and the barman says, ‘we dont serve pieces of strings here.’ to one of the pieces of string. so. it goes back to its friends and says, ‘they dont serve strings here.’ and its a joke. so the middle one does it too, three of them, you see, then the last one, he ties himself around the middle and he pulls the end of him all out. and he orders a drink." the rook croaked again, sagely. "three drinks. right. and the barman says, ‘ here, arent you one of those pieces of string?’ and he says, the piece of string, he says, ‘no. i’m a frayed not.’ afraid not, y’see, a frayed knot. pun. very, very funny." -old bailey, neverwhere

heeheehee… this simple joke had me smiling for 5 minutes. wish there were more jokes like this in the world.

"lovely fresh dreams! first-class nightmares. we got ‘em. get your lovely nightmares here."

"weapons! arm yourself! defend your cellar, cave, or hole! you want to hit ‘em? we got ‘em. come on darling, come on over here…"

"rubbish! junk! garbage! trash! offal! debris! come and get it! nothing whole or undamaged! crap, tripe, and useless piles of shit. you know you want it."

"lost property. roll up, roll up, and see for yourself. lost property. none of your found things here. everything guaranteed properly lost."

heeheehee… i’ve slowly returning to the world i once knew: a world where the impossible could happen, and the possible is not likely to happen. where dreams can actually come true and where imaginations can run wild and free. where men and insects and animals and plants are not the only things to inhibit this earth. where our world is called a number of other names other than earth. where elves are not a myth, trolls and ogres are a given fact of life, and magic is not unusual.

i’ve returned to my world of books. and i’m happy.

ahh… just came back from lunch and (because i ate lunch alone…) i’ve had time to reflect. time to reflect on the way i’ve been living my life, the things i’ve done, the words i’ve said, and the friends i’ve made…

NOT!

hah! like i’m *that* hard a thinker. honestly, i just slipped on my earphones, put my mp3 player in repeat mode and just sat at mcdo. i programmed my body to move on its own accord, and so it did. it took a bite out of the burger, jammed no less than two pieces of fries together with it, then, after swallowing it all down, it took a sip of iced milo (no ice, though). ahh… it’s good to be able to multitask, dont you think? eating while listening to music, while spacing out.

yep, it’s good to be alive.

gusto kong…

kumain. matulog. umuwi at kumain bago matulog. mag-thursday na para bukas, friday na. maligo ulit. matapos na ang koL. matutunang gitarahin ang AKAP ng imago. mag-down sana ang server para wala na munang calls (kahit hanggang 12noon man lang, parang awa niyo na!!!). umulan sana ng pera habang malaki-laki pa ang dala kong bag, nyehehe. maglaro ng burn-out 3 (tagal ko na di ito nilalaro eh… bad trip…). panoorin yung THE PACIFIER. matapos na sana ang shift na ito. manatili dito sa pwesto ko sa b-unit (ayoko na lumipat pa!<=\). makita ulit sina rai at twish…